Waiting Game

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a patient person. I’ve adjusted the microwave setting so that my two-minute breakfast sandwich is done in a minute and 10 seconds. I’ve learned how to bake a 15-minute pizza in eight minutes, without burning it (okay, most of the time). My 8-hour crockpot recipes usually take about five. I’m totally okay if you tell me how a movie ends, and I always read the end of a book first.

So it should come as no surprise that one of the things that drives me abso-friggin-lutely nuts about the military is how often I have to wait. I wait to get my ID card. I wait to sign in to wait to get my ID card. Actually, most places in the military you have to wait to sign in to wait. It’s one of the perks. I wait in line at the Post Office and the BX and the commissary (I also wait as long as humanely possible to GO to the commissary--that’s usually when we are down to grapefruit juice and a carton of expired Egg Beaters in the fridge--but that is another story...). I wait to find out if Jared is flying over the weekend. Wait to find out if Jared is coming home that night. Wait for the deployments and TDYs to arrive. Wait for the deployments and TDYs to end. Wait to find out if we can go on vacation. Wait to find out if we have to cancel our vacation. Then there is the biggie...the mother of all waits...the wait for ORDERS!

I do not wait for orders well. Actually, I don’t wait for the assignment well; orders are secondary, although I don’t wait for those well either. See, in the military they give you the assignment first and the orders later. Unfortunately, the assignment does not become official until the orders have arrived. And until the assignment is official (e.g., you have orders in hand) then essentially nothing can be done. You cannot arrange for your household goods to be packed, cannot ship your car, cannot make temporary living arrangements, cannot book flights. Nothing. What I have found you can do is sit there and work yourself into a high-strung bundle of nerves that leaves you questioning your sanity. You can also make lists. Lots of lists. Lists and lists of plans for what you will do when the orders finally arrive. Then the orders will arrive and said list will subsequently be destroyed because nothing...and I mean nothing...in the military ever works out according to the plans you make. Murphy’s Law at its absolute finest.

So yes, as we have already established, I do not handle waiting for an assignment well. I’ve been like this since I was a kid. For those of you who don’t know, my Dad was in the Air Force for almost 27 years, so I am a military brat. I am also just generally a brat, but as usual, I digress....

Growing up, whenever my parents started talking about us being due for a new assignment, the daily litany began:

“Dad, where are we going?”

“I don’t know yet honey.”

“Dad, where are we going?”

“I don’t know yet honey”

“Dad do you know yet where we are going”

“No honey, I still don’t know. I promise you’ll know as soon as I know.”

“Dad wh-...”

“I don't know YET!”

And on and on this went until that glorious day when we found out where and when we were going to be moving. Surprisingly, my parents allowed me to live through all the moves we made growing up. Now my husband has to deal with it. This is probably why my dad gave such a big sigh of relief on our wedding day. At the time, I thought he was just trying to hold back tears. In hindsight, he was more likely holding back snorts of laughters as he envisioned what my dear, unknowing husband would soon have to deal with. Hmmm....

So once we found out where we were moving, phase 2 set in: absolute, unadulterated horror. What the heck...we actually have to leave?!?! As if the past six months of driving my parents insane didn’t allow enough opportunity for this little truth to set in. I mean, really, we actually have to MOVE??? As in leave? As in leave, LEAVE?!?! This phase of absolute, unadulterated horror is characterized by many sleepless nights, long periods of hysterically sobbing into my pillow, and the breaking of numerous inanimate objects as I introduce them to the wall.

You would think that I would have eventually outgrown when I became an “adult.” Yeah, right. If anything, it has gotten worse with age. I drive my husband crazy. I drive my parents and siblings crazy. Heck, I drive myself crazy! I have always been excessively Type-A, but when I sense a move on the horizon...well, my personality turns into Type-A on anabolic steroids. This time it is even worse because we are leaving Germany. Usually, after a couple of years in one place, ennui sets in. That is, until I’m actually informed of an imminent move. Please reference “absolute, unadulterated horror” above.
 
This time it really is different, though. I’m not restless. I’m not bored. There is still too much to see and do! I mean really, why would I willingly leave a place where I can say ever-so-nonchalantly...”hmmm....I think I’ll just run on over to Paris for the weekend. Or maybe Rome. Ohhhh.....but Berlin sounds nice, too. I just don’t know what fancy schmancy European city I want to visit this weekend.” Plus, the Germans have flammkuchen, Neuerwein, Spaghetti Eis and Kinder Eggs. Enough said.

So as evidenced by the gym strike mentioned in my previous post, reality has begun to set in. So has full-fledged, inanimate-object throwing anxiety. I’m like a hormonal pregnant chick minus the baby. Seriously. I’ve been my own one-woman emotional rollercoaster freak show for the last few days, couple of weeks, couple of months. A move is imminent. Must. Lose. All. Semblance. Of. Sanity. And apparently all my dignity in the process, as well. I think the low point came when I asked my husband who I needed to sleep with to get a good assignment around here. Then I asked if the squadron commander in England was a male. I was joking. I thought it was funny. The husband did not. Hasn’t he learned by now that I handle periods of immense stress with periods of totally inappropriate humor? Sigh. This was coming from the chick that laughed at her Granddad’s funeral when the Honor Guard guys turned the wrong way. In my defense, I had been crying for hours on end and needed something to stem the waterworks, however inappropriate it may have seemed. Also in my defense: my brother laughed, too.

Fortunately, my husband loves me in all my neurotic glory. Or at least he claims he does. Of course, I was taking aim at the wall with yet another inanimate object when he said this. Maybe he was just afraid to tell me the truth lest the next inanimate object be aimed at him: “Honey, you’re acting like a whacked-out sea monkey on a sugar high.” Next thing he knows, he’s waking up in the Emergency Room. Sorry honey, I missed the wall. Damn, I hate when that happens.

Please note that I only throw inanimate objects. I have not yet resorted to throwing my cats...or any other live animal...at the wall. Nor would I. I love my four-legged, furry children. Plus they have claws and a keen sense of vengeance. And there are four of them and one of me. I probably would not survive the post-throwing encounter.

I don’t want to leave Germany. I think that at this point that fact is rather evident. Sadly, since my gym strike failed to net us another extension, leave we must. And since we must leave, I just want to know where we are going. Now. Actually, I wanted to know about six months ago when I first started turning into a basket case.

The good news is that we should find out soon. The bad news is that we should find out soon. The other good news is that Jared will most likely be calling me from work to inform me of our new assignment. That means he won’t have to clean up all the shattered glass. The bad news is that he will have to stop by the BX on the way home from work and replace all of our dishes.

At least the cats will be safe.

Not Just Another Weekend...

Today is Memorial Day. It is a day of reflection, though its meaning has become more and more obscured by the excitement of a three-day weekend, and a break from work and our everyday routines.

But as we revel in the parties, picnics and vacations, we must remember the meaning behind today. This isn’t a free holiday. It came with a price, and we must never forget those that paid it and the ones they left behind.

In all likelihood, someone, somewhere today will get a knock on the door informing them that their husband/wife/son/daughter/father/mother/sister/brother will not be returning home. And for them, Memorial Day will never be just another party, picnic or vacation.

So in honor of Memorial Day--and in honor of the heroes who are the reason for this day--I wanted to share two of my favorite poems. The first was written by a Canadian surgeon in May 1915. The second was written by a high school senior in 1981. Though separated by decades and different wars, the words still resonate today as we send our friends and family members, a new generation, off to war...unsure if they will ever come home.

In Flanders Fields
by John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow


Between the crosses, row on row,


That mark our place; and in the sky


The larks, still bravely singing, fly


Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago


We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,


Loved and were loved, and now we lie


In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:


To you from failing hands we throw


The torch; be yours to hold it high.


If ye break faith with us who die


We shall not sleep, though poppies grow


In Flanders fields.

Goodbyes and Hellos

I had fully intended to write my next post about friendship. It seemed only fitting that I address the three cornerstones of my blogs, right?!?! Well, sometimes life interferes...in  good and unexpected ways!

I had started my morning writing about friendship. Later that afternoon, family drama ensued and by the time all was said and done, my happy, friendship-y vibe had fizzled. I was upset and stressed, so I headed off to Zumba to sweat out the stress hormones. Sadly, after an hour of dancing around and shaking my booty to lots of ridiculously fast-paced Latin music (and looking like a spastic robot in the process...thank goodness there are no mirrors in that room for me to witness my own humiliation), I was still a grumpy, stress-y mess, albeit a much sweatier one.

On a side note, if you have never heard of Zumba, you should totally check it out: www.Zumba.com. It is the most intense non-exercise-like exercise I have ever done. I love it! But I digress.....(I’ll usually digress once or twice per blog entry...sorry)

So back to my original story...

As I am walking out of the gym, a cloud of grumpiness hanging over my head, there is a lady walking in front of me who had also attended the Zumba class. She made a comment about wanting an end to the nasty, rainy weather we’ve been getting lately. I concurred. We both laughed, and the conversation ensued something like this:

Me: I know! I am sooooo ready for the summer!

Her: The summer?!?! Shoot girl, I’ll just take some sun!

Me: Yeah, good point! I’ll take that, too!

Her: But let me tell ya , I think when the summer comes it’s gonna be a scorcher! I don’t mind it being 75 or 80 some days, but not every day!

Me: (sigh) Ugh! I know! When I lived in Florida it was hotter, but at least we had AC! Even when it’s cooler it’s a lot more miserable here without it!

Her: Get outta here girl! You from Florida? I’ll be from there soon.

Me: Oh yeah? Whereabouts in Florida?

Her: Just south of Tampa...in a place called Riverview.

Me: No kidding!!! That’s where we moved from! We still have a house there!

(insert mutual giggles)

Her: We just bought a house there!

Me: What subdivision?

Her: Ummm....ummm....hmmm...umm...Ha...no, huh...oh shoot, I don’t remember what it’s called. It starts with an H. But it’s in South Fork.

(insert moment of stunned silence on my part)

Me: (in high-pitched, squealy voice) Reeeeaaaaaalllllllyyyyyy?!?!?!?!?!?! That’s where WE have a house!!!!!!!!

(insert more girly giggles as we both ponder how small the world really is)

So we spent the next seven minutes or so discussing that area, the local schools, traffic, the mall, our families, our husbands, her kids, my lack thereof, and our general life stories.

Me: Well, I guess we’d better go before we get soaked (it had been raining the entire time we had this conversation standing outside by my car)

(we both say goodbye and turn away. She turns back around)

Her: Ohhhhhhhhhh come here girl! I love you girl! Come here and give me a big hug!!! Can’t wait to see ya next time!

(insert hug and more giggles)


And in the space of a 10 minute conversation and random twist of fate, that is how a friendship was formed.  =)

This isn’t the first time I have had a random encounter. I’ve been amazed at how many people I’ve run into again, years after I assumed we had said our final goodbyes. There was the time, my sophomore year of high school, that I ended up sitting behind a girl in Spanish class in Satellite Beach, Florida that I’d last seen three years before when we were in middle school together in Virginia. There was the time in Tampa, four years after I graduated high school, that Jared and I walked into a Coldstone Creamery and ran into an old friend from my senior year. Now, five years after that encounter, she lives in the village next to mine here in Germany. The funny thing is that she isn’t even military! Her boyfriend is German. What are the odds?!?! Another time, shortly after moving here to Germany, I walked into the commissary and saw a guy that I was sure I had attended 9th grade with when I lived in Germany the first time...a decade before! Jared, at that point sick of hearing me say “Hmmm....I think I know that person...I think I went to school with that person!” sighed in exasperation and said “Yeah, I know. You say that about everyone. If you are so sure, go talk to him!” You’d think, after all the weird coincidences, he would know better than to challenge me on that score! :) So, feeling like an idiot (after all, we’d both aged after 10+ years), I walked up to the guy and asked if he was Mike so and so from 9th grade. Sure enough, he was! Not only that, but he knew of two other people from our class that were also stationed at this same base in Germany. The hubby hasn’t questioned me since!

I could go on and on...Jared and I ran into a mutual friend from Air Force ROTC, again at the commissary. We ran into another acquaintance from ROTC at one of the three gyms here. One of my best friends from MacDill AFB and her husband moved here to Ramstein six months after we moved did. A year later, more friends from MacDill arrived. Now two more are on their way within the next few months.

So this is why...despite the ups and downs; the nights alone; the worry when my husband is gone; the attending weddings, baptisms, graduations and many, many other “couple” events alone; the packing up of my life into boxes every three years; and the multitude of goodbyes...I love the military. For every goodbye, there is also a hello. It will be found in the most random of places...the gym, the parking lot, in line at the BX, heck, even sometimes in line at the bathroom...but it is all these hellos that make the goodbyes okay. Because sometimes, when we least expect it, there will be an “until we meet again.”